Learning is Change

36: The Tidy Bow at the End of the Episode. #LifeWideLearning16

I was the Jonathan Taylor Thomas of my family.

The middle child, slightly brainy, who moves down into the basement as soon as he could in order to avoid the older and younger brothers. JTT, as we affectionately called him in those days, was my surrogate for much of the angst I felt for living in such a “normal” family. He was the one that I looked to for much of my formative years, as he was trying to navigate the drama of a family of 5.

Now, my father did not have a tool-related TV show and my parents did not turn to a wise older man who lived next door, but Home Improvement was a really nice mirror to hold up for me. Whether it was trying to figure out if we could ever be as cool at the Tailors or seeing what the “very special episode” might hold, I watched the show religiously and looked for clues as to how I should proceed.

In many ways, I wanted what they had.

I wanted the tidy bow at the end of the episode. I wanted the (mostly) cohesive way that the brothers grew together despite their differences. I wanted the humanistic approach to problem solving that turned to the family and to the community for support rather than religious doctrine.

I know this was a lot to ask of the TV family, but for me it was a second home. For those 30 minutes a week, I felt like there was a family that was just a couple degrees off from ours that I could aspire to. Like, if we just changed a few things, we too would be that happy and wholesome.

Overall, I’m okay that we didn’t end up being the Tailors and that JTT stopped being my fictionalized doppelganger. I’m glad that we moved on from the normal family of a sitcom and embraced the weirdness that was inherent in real people solving real problems and navigating adulthood. But there is a part of me that still lives in the kitchen and connected living room of that house on TV. There is still some small piece of me that wants to part my hair down the middle and sit on the couch with an all-knowing mom and learn a valuable life lesson.

But, now I’m Tim instead of Randy. And I don’t really see the family I am helping to lead as anything like the Tailors. Not just because we have a girl thrown into the mix, but rather because I don’t want that life for my kids. Normal is something that you wrap yourself in because you don’t want to see what else is out there. I want my kids to see beyond normal and embrace who they are rather than try to be JTT.

35: A Person Learns. #LifeWideLearning16

I used to say it is a complex issue and there are a whole bunch of answers that are all correct. I used to say that we are still trying to figure it out and that there needs to be more research into the intricacies of how technology supports learning. I used to say that everyone has their own “personalized” definition and it is important that we shouldn’t pigeonhole it too much because then it will get co-opted by folks who don’t really “get it.”

I used to say those things, but I don’t anymore.

I don’t because personalization means something specific. It is simple and can be easily communicated. It doesn’t require extra research or a series of whitepapers in order to sort it out. Instead, it requires only that we accept it and start to look at how it fundamentally changes the way in which we build and support schools.

Personalized Learning is the learner as agent in their learning.

That’s it. If the learner is the agent of their learning, it will be personalized. It will be according to their needs and built upon their strengths. It will be filled with choice and leverage just the right resources because the learner is the one who is asking for them.

With learner as agent, teachers cannot fill that role because it is already taken. They can facilitate learning and they can create an environment for it to happen, but they can never be the who makes it happen. The agent is the one who asks questions and makes things. The agent is the one who takes responsibility and wonders out loud.

We can model that agency as teachers and leaders. We can build schools that are supportive of students sharing their voice and making good decisions. We can frame the conversations we have about learners and learning so that they are focused upon the actions of a person, a full-fledged human being.

When learners are the agent of their learning:

  • They choose the device on which to both consume and demonstrate their learning
  • They are supported by those who care about them most
  • They build things that they are truly passionate about and they solve problems within their own lives and communities
  • They are often challenged by teachers and other learners to go deeper or to learn about things that aren’t immediately accessible to them.
  • They know what comes next in their learning and they have a plan to achieve it.
  • They know themselves as learners and can leverage their strengths
  • They are continually balancing and reprioritizing their interests and responsibilities, setting themselves up for success inside and outside of school
  • They have access to everything they have ever learned or created
  • They are connected to other learners across their city, their community, and their world
  • They can advocate for their needs for safety, health, and shelter
  • They make choices about the best environments for them to learn within

The list goes on. When learners are agents in their learning, learning doesn’t stop. So, can we please stop acting like we don’t know what personalized learning means?

A Person Learns. People have (or should have) agency. Ergo, Personalized Learning. Stop making it more complicated than that.

34: Five types of collaboration gone bad. #LifeWideLearning16

  1. Groupthink: When you want to please the others in the group more than you want to find the best solution.
  2. Decision by Committee: Finding consensus without ever finding buy-in.
  3. Starting Over, Again: Collaborating on the same thing, but calling it something new because the protocol is different or we didn’t like the outcome the first time.
  4. The Meeting After The Meeting: The type of collaboration that is in direct opposition of the collaboration that has already occurred because no one in the session felt comfortable enough to challenging others during the time allotted.
  5. The Never-ending Collaboration: The document, project, or conversation that never reaches the milestone of sharing out. In this type of collaboration there is a lot of excitement, but ultimately it is unsatisfying and discourages people from participating in future collaborations.

I’m sure there are many more types of Collaboration that goes too far (or not far enough), but these are the ones that I have experienced most. What do you see in your workplace?

33: The difference difference makes. #LifeWideLearning16

I fundamentally disagree with the opening line of Anna Karenina: “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” It supposes that to be happy, you must perform a sameness or adhere to a stereotype. In today’s understanding of family, it builds an ideal happiness for families as two monogamous parents with compliant children who own their own home and live uneventful lives. This is understood. This is cannon. Not just in Anna Karenina, but in every tv show or movie.

If the parents add any complexity to their relationship, the marriage is over, happy family done. If the children are even a bit defiant or outside the range of “normal”, the family is broken, happy family ended. In fact, the vast majority of all family drama within our media landscape comes from exceptional children or nontraditional parenting roles. Everyone else seems to accept this deviation from normal as a deviation from happiness. Even in more progressive family setups like “Modern Family” or “Parenthood”, things fall apart and unhappiness abounds when a woman has to choose between two lovers or the children don’t want to go to college.

Happy families are all happy in their own ways.

Families are not a mold from which to break, but rather a daily experience to embrace and to create. The happiest families I know are inclusive, rather than exclusive. They are constantly expanding the relationships that are possible for the adults and the children. They do not limit what is possible to what is expected, but are pushing the boundaries of family and learning what matters most to each individual and as a whole.

Most importantly, happy families are not static. They are ever changing. For every new phase that the children experience, so too do the adults in trying to support them. For every child that is added to the family, the family creates a new kind of happiness. As a father of three children, my happiness is not more or less than a family with one. It is different, and dramatically so.

I often tell people that I have had at least two marriages, but that I am fortunate to have had them both with the same woman. There was no second ceremony or a separation in the middle. Rather, we just continually choose one another as husband and wife. It is our happiness together and our ever expanding plurality of love that makes it so.

Our family is not one that you would expect from novels or what you see on Netflix or network TV. It is not a broken home or an unhappy mess. Rather, it is a daily learning experience that hovers around the happiness of being authentic with one another. We are not alike anyone else, but we are happy.

32: You just know. #LifeWideLearning16

“I changed my mind once. It was awful.” -Anyone who listens to someone else and actually has to change their mind because they started to incorporate someone else’s worldview into their own.

Getting input, empathy interviews or just receiving feedback is mostly an empty gesture. It is an act of wordsmithing or placating others. It is a box to check off to say that listening occurred. Because input means that your idea wasn’t good enough. You don’t need others to prove your thinking. You just know.

I mean, unless, you think someone else could make your idea better. Unless, of course, there is something to be gained by listening to others and actually changing your orientation. I guess, there might be something to creating genuine buy-in through the process of co-creation. Perhaps, if others had their thinking incorporated and could see themselves in the finished product, it might ensure its success.

It just seems like a lot of work.

Actual listening requires change. And change is hard. It seems like we could all save a lot of time if we all thought the same way and others would just sign off on whatever it is that I am thinking. Couldn’t we try that for a little while?

No? Okay then…

I often say “we win when our words come out of other peoples’ mouths.” I also think the reverse is true. We all win when other peoples’ words come from our mouths and through our fingers as we type. The kind of input that creating the future of teaching and learning requires is so constant that we should have to cite every other sentence as we write it.

There is no lone genius or singularly great idea to change the world. There is only input. There is only listening and changing to meet the needs of others. We cannot be so arrogant or soloed to think that our problems are unique. We exist within a context of others, and their input is what helps to drive our growth.

I know that I have listened well enough to others when they trust me to speak on their behalf. I know it when they see my work as their work and try to advocate for it within their own spaces. And I know it most acutely when I flat out change my mind. When listening makes it so I no longer am the same person, I know that I have done it right.