Distraction isn't best.
Transcript read by a machine from the typewritten page. The typos are mine or the machine’s.
I somotino kaYo to distract mysolf from distraction. I distract myself from my life, from the things that hre happoning right in front of with bluosky reddit. But, those things are an attempt know what is in the wider world, I toll myself nyway. But the wider worl far re scary and dopressing place than the one right of so I have to distract myself from that too with on my now little handhold, harkening back to when was only the life in front of and the ride• gameswore an ral part of it and not a distraction from it.
But, now everything is distraction. Distraction and donial of what the physical body feols and the space it occupies. Finding new ways to stop being presont and to koop ontertained. Diving into the past instead of planning for the future. It is so easy. And in some vays, it feels like an improvement upon how I could. be divine into vertichl video and infinitoly swiping. Or, postine to a CSAM-hellscape site where I ## shared tens of thousands of ideas orer a decade. Or, obsessively checking the news, hoping that at least a few of the folks responsible for theinjustice and lawlessness of t omodera world vould be put avay and hold to account. Video ganes and the dullest version of social sedia fool like am appropriate amouut of distraction.
They still don't feel great.
Bht feeling great is pretty elusive. It requires so much work that it hardly seems worth it. The phome is right there. The RONs for these retro rideo games are so readily available. I have comforted_e chairs and a rolazing bed. But tere is no amount of rest that will make the world more just. There is no amouut •i stariag at my phone that will write new ideas into# existance. There is no amount of Retro Achievenents that will take me out for a beer or inspire me to make something new.
So, good better best it is. Good is distraction when I need it. Better is writing and making for myself and others. Best is sitting or walking with my thoughts, #* reaching out to othors and feeling what I can, unburdened by the weight of the past or the future. That is the best. I hope I can visit there again sOor